House rules for a flat share: a template with ten rules that work

Template: ten house rules to copy

1. Quiet from 10 pm on weekdays and from midnight at weekends.
2. Parties are announced at least a day ahead.
3. Overnight guests are welcome, and anyone staying longer than three nights is agreed in advance.
4. Dishes are washed up or loaded into the dishwasher on the same day.
5. The cleaning rota rotates weekly, and anyone who is away is skipped and does not catch up.
6. Everyone has their own shelf in the fridge, and other people’s food is only eaten after asking.
7. Cleaning supplies, toilet paper and washing-up liquid are paid for together, private food by each person.
8. Purchases for the flat over €30 are agreed beforehand.
9. Expenses are entered at once and settled up on the first of the month.
10. Once a month there is a short flat meeting where the rules can be adjusted.

Fill-in-the-blanks sheet: the template with gaps

1. Quiet from ____ on weekdays and from ____ at weekends.
2. We announce parties ____ days ahead and agree an end time.
3. Overnight guests are welcome, and from the ____ night in a row we agree it in advance.
4. Dishes are washed up or loaded by ____ at the latest.
5. The cleaning rota changes every ____. Whoever cannot manage a task swaps beforehand or catches up.
6. Everyone has a shelf in the fridge, and shared food goes on shelf ____.
7. We pay for ____ together. Each person pays for ____ themselves.
8. We agree purchases for the flat over €____ beforehand.
9. We enter expenses at once and settle up on ____.
10. The flat meeting is on the ____ of each month at ____.

Start date and signatures

Add underneath the sheet: These rules apply from ____, the trial period runs until ____. Signatures: ____

How to agree on house rules: an outline for the first evening

1. Collect topics: everyone writes down for ten minutes what matters in daily life or has already annoyed them.
2. Sort: keep only what affects more than one person and match it to the areas of the template.
3. Fix the numbers: write times, nights, amounts and deadlines concretely, not “late” or “longer”.
4. Vote: a rule applies once everyone agrees. Anyone who does not agree gives the reason, then you look for a compromise.
5. Put it up and test it: print the sheet or record it as a decision on the noticeboard, enter the start and end of the trial period and set the date of the first flat meeting. You settle the details there.

Quiet hours and noise

Set fixed times when it is quiet, for example from 10 pm on weekdays. That includes announcing parties in advance. A rule of thumb: whoever is having people round says so at least a day ahead and takes account of flatmates with an exam or an early shift.

Working from home, exams and shift work

• Basic rule: fixed quiet hours are not enough if someone works during the day or sleeps at other times. So add exceptions that you agree beforehand.
• Working from home: calls and video calls in your own room with the door closed, music and TV quiet or on headphones during core working hours.
• Exam period: a quiet time, for example from 7 to 10 pm, that the person announces beforehand and that is limited to a few weeks.
• Shift work or early starts: whoever works nights or gets up very early says what their rhythm is. Doors are then closed quietly, and loud appliances such as the hoover run at other times.
• End date: give every exception an end date, otherwise it becomes a permanent rule.

Guests and overnight visitors

Settle how often and how long guests can stay and whether people ask first. Anyone with a regular visitor contributes to the utility costs. Legal questions about the tenancy agreement are settled with the landlord or a tenants’ association (Mieterverein).

Housework and cleanliness

Record who does which task and when, and what “clean” means. A cleaning rota with fixed tasks and reminders replaces discussions. How to set one up is covered in making a cleaning rota, and a cleaning rota template to print is a good start. Dishes do not belong in the sink overnight and shared rooms stay usable: mini-rules like these prevent most conflicts.

What does “clean enough” mean? A minimum standard

• Basic idea: arguments about cleanliness often arise because each person means something different. So write down a minimum standard that applies to everyone every day.
• Kitchen: worktop and hob wiped after cooking, dishes put away the same day.
• Bathroom: shower and basin given a quick squeegee after use, hair removed from the plughole, toilet paper replaced.
• Bins: the bin is emptied before it overflows.
• Hallway: shoes go on the mat or the rack, not in the middle of the floor.
• Thorough cleaning: that follows the cleaning rota with fixed tasks, and the minimum standard adds to it for daily life. The examples are suggestions, so adapt them to your flat.

The shared kitty and shopping

Define what is paid for together (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, spices) and what is not. Decide how you settle up: how a shared kitty can be run is in the household kitty guide, and how to divide the costs under splitting flat costs fairly. With a shared list for organising flat shopping, everyone knows what is missing and nobody buys the same thing twice.

Shared belongings and purchases

Settle early on what belongs to whom. A list at the flat meeting is enough: what did each person bring, what was bought together and who paid how much? Purchases above the agreed amount, €30 in the template, are asked about beforehand. You split the cost among those who use the item, as described in splitting flat costs fairly. Also settle who pays if a shared item breaks. One suggestion: everyone for normal wear and tear, the person who caused it for gross carelessness. When someone moves out, they take what they bought alone. For things bought together, you decide beforehand whether they stay and the person is paid out. Personal things are only borrowed after asking and are given back.

Bathroom, kitchen and shared rooms

The bathroom gets busy quickly in the morning. Anyone who has to leave early gets a fixed slot, and everyone else showers before or after. In the kitchen, whoever cooks tidies up afterwards, and the worktop is free for the next person. Nothing private stays in the living room for good, otherwise the room turns into a storeroom.

Privacy and private rooms

• Knocking: you only enter someone else’s room after knocking and an answer, and not at all if they are out.
• Borrowing: you only take things from other people’s rooms after asking.
• Post and parcels: other people’s post stays unopened, and parcels you accept go in a fixed place.
• Emergencies: if there is water damage or smoke, someone may go into the room and says so straight afterwards.
• As a rule: “Our rooms are private. We knock and take nothing without asking.”

Bins, laundry, keys and wifi

• Bins: whoever sees a full bin takes it out, or the bins are a fixed task in the cleaning rota.
• Laundry: the washing machine is emptied after the cycle, and the clothes airer in the hallway is put away once dry.
• Keys: whoever loses a key says so at once, and whoever moves out hands back all of theirs.
• Wifi: decide whether guests get the password. How to split the cost is in utilities and internet.

Rules for the fridge and dishwasher

• Fridge: every two weeks you go through it together and bin anything out of date, for example as a recurring cleaning task.
• Dishwasher: clean dishes are put away straight away, and used ones go in the machine instead of the sink overnight.
• Dishwasher: everyone pays for tablets and rinse aid together, and whoever takes the last one puts it on the shopping list.

Smoking, pets and instruments

These three points cause the most trouble when they are not discussed beforehand. Settle whether smoking is allowed in the flat or only on the balcony, whether pets are allowed (the tenancy agreement can set limits here) and at what times people may practise. It is best to raise them at the WG-Casting (flat interview).

Rules for new flatmates

Someone who moves in does not know the agreements already in place. Show the rules before they move in, not at the first argument, and ask whether any of them do not suit. After a month a short chat is worthwhile: what feels unfamiliar, what should change? That way new people feel part of the flat and not a guest with duties.

Trial period and review

Do not agree rules for ever. Set a trial period of four weeks and a fixed date to talk about what did not work. After that the monthly flat meeting is enough, as rule 10 of the template provides.

How to keep the rules on record

Put them somewhere everyone sees them. In ManaWG as a flat-share app, the noticeboard is a good fit. It has the post types Info, Question, Problem, Request and Decision. Record a rule as a Decision, and the card invites the others to react with “Works for me”. You can pin important posts and mark answered questions as resolved. A decision stands once everyone has agreed, and it can be adjusted at the monthly flat meeting.

Raising conflicts

Raise problems early and calmly: concrete behaviour, concrete effect, concrete request. “You often leave dishes out. That bothers me. Could you wash them in the evening?” works better than “You are messy”. More in the guide to solving flatmate conflict.

When someone breaks the rules repeatedly

1. Speak to them one to one, calmly and concretely.
2. Talk it through together at the flat meeting and ask whether the rule still fits.
3. Agree a clear consequence, for example that missed cleaning tasks are caught up.
4. If none of that helps, talk openly about moving out before the mood turns completely.

House rules, Hausordnung and tenancy agreement

Flat rules are agreements between flatmates. They add to the tenancy agreement and the building’s house rules (Hausordnung) but do not replace them. What those say, for example quiet hours in the building or rules on keeping pets, applies regardless of your agreements. So check beforehand what the agreement already sets.