ManaWGOpen the appSolving conflict between flatmates
Almost every flat share has a row sooner or later, usually about the same three things: cleaning, noise and money. It is rarely down to ill will. Mostly there are no clear agreements, or small irritations went unmentioned for too long. A few habits settle most conflicts before they spoil the atmosphere.
By Abubakar Abditube (ManaWG) · Published · Updated
Raise things early, do not save them up
The most common mistake is to swallow annoyance until it all comes out at once. Raise things while they are small, and ideally with the person concerned directly rather than with the others first. A calm moment is better than the instant the dirty dishes are in the sink again.
Stay factual: “I” statements
Describe what happened and what it sets off in you, instead of attributing traits to the other person. “It stresses me when the kitchen is full in the morning” lands differently from “You are always so sloppy”. Ask how the other side sees it. There are often reasons you do not know about, such as exams or shift work.
Rows about cleaning
Cleaning rows usually arise because it is unclear whose turn it is or because tasks are shared unevenly. A cleaning rota with a fixed rotation takes the discussion out: it is visible who is next and what is done. How to build one is in making a cleaning rota, and a cleaning rota template to print helps you start. In the flat-share app ManaWG, tasks move on automatically and anyone who is away is skipped. If one person still keeps not cleaning, that belongs at the flat meeting, not in passive-aggressive notes on the fridge.
Rows about noise and guests
What helps here are rules everyone has agreed beforehand: quiet hours on weekdays, announcing parties, how long guests may stay. Once something has been settled together, it does not need to be renegotiated each time. Put decisions in writing, for example on the noticeboard in ManaWG, so nobody later relies on a different memory.
Rows about money
Money rows almost always come from a lack of overview: who paid what, who owes whom? Enter expenses at once and settle up at a fixed date. An app that works out balances and suggests payments replaces reminders about individual amounts. How to do this with few transfers is in the guide to debts between flatmates. Also settle beforehand what is bought together and above what amount people ask first.
The flat meeting
A regular short meeting, say once a month, gives everyone a fixed place for topics. Anyone can bring something, and decisions are written down. If things do not improve despite talking, it is no failure to ask whether the mix of people fits. Sometimes moving out is the fairest solution for everyone. Who may give notice to whom depends on the contract, see asking a flatmate to leave.
Frequently asked questions
How do I raise a problem with a flatmate?
Early, directly and at a calm moment. Describe what bothers you instead of blaming the person, and ask for their view.
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